A girl has questioned whether or not she was flawed to refuse her stepdaughter’s request to put on her late daughter’s wedding ceremony robe after it sparked a family-wide argument.
In a submit shared to Reddit’s AITA [Am I the A**hole] subreddit, the 49-year-old lady, who posted underneath the username @67099107, revealed that her daughter Lauren handed away from sepsis on the age of 26, the identical month that she was purported to get married.
In keeping with the lady, her daughter’s loss of life was “so sudden” and the household nonetheless does not know “what went flawed”. “We have been devastated to say the least,” she stated, including that she saved what would have been her late daughter’s wedding ceremony gown, as they’d bought it collectively and “she put loads of touches on it [and] labored onerous on it”.
“Though it hurts to take a look at it, I make certain it is protected,” she stated.
Within the submit, the lady who stated she remains to be grieving the lack of her daughter, then defined that she has since gotten married herself not too long ago, to a person who has a daughter named Zoey.
“I met my stepdaughter Zoey two and a half years in the past. I married her father lower than 5 months in the past. It was a small and personal celebration since that is what we felt was the perfect factor to do since I am nonetheless grieving,” the Reddit consumer wrote.
Whereas she has identified her 23-year-old stepdaughter for practically three years now, the lady stated that they’re “not very shut,” partly due to distance. “However we’re very respectful in direction of one another,” she stated.
Nevertheless, in response to the lady, a difficulty not too long ago arose within the household after her stepdaughter, who’s quickly getting married, requested if she may put on what would have been Lauren’s wedding ceremony gown.
“The problem began when Zoey visited to speak about her wedding ceremony in April. We have been speaking about wedding ceremony attire and he or she out of the blue introduced up Lauren’s wedding ceremony gown. I requested her what about it and he or she stated she noticed it a number of occasions and it acquired caught on her thoughts. Requested if she may see it and I let her,” the submit reads. “She then stated she’d wish to put on it at her wedding ceremony.”
Along with asking for the gown, Zoey additionally reportedly informed her stepmother that she deliberate to make just a few modifications to the robe in order that it could “match her measurement and elegance”.
Within the submit, the lady stated that the request left her feeling “uneasy,” and that she informed her stepdaughter it wasn’t a “good thought”. “I informed her I used to be sorry however I can not let her have it,” she wrote, including that her stepdaughter then provided her cash for the marriage robe, however she declined due to the sentimental worth of the gown.
In keeping with the lady, her refusal to permit her stepdaughter to put on her late daughter’s wedding ceremony gown sparked an argument, as she wrote that the 23 yr outdated stated she was “making issues difficult” and claimed that it could be alright for her to put on the gown as a result of “she too is my daughter”.
“She requested if I do not love her as a lot,” to which the lady reportedly replied that her “love for her is completely different,” at which level the Reddit consumer stated her stepdaughter “threw a match calling me unfair and unreasonable to say sure”.
The girl stated the battle escalated when her husband, her stepdaughter’s father, acquired concerned, as he additionally stated he could not see why she can be in opposition to giving her daughter’s wedding ceremony gown away.
“I declined to debate it anymore however they saved bringing it up [and] if my daughter would’ve wished asking another person to have the chance to put on this gown since she sadly could not,” the lady continued, including that she ultimately “lashed out at each of them”.
The Reddit consumer concluded the submit noting that others have informed her she had “no proper” to reply the best way she did or to go away the gown “within the closet when [her] stepdaughter may make good reminiscences with it”.
“However she stated she’s planning on altering his look,” she added.
The submit, which has been upvoted greater than 11,000 occasions, prompted a whole bunch of horrified customers to weigh in to guarantee the OP [original poster] that it was comprehensible for her to say no her stepdaughter’s request, whereas others inspired her to maneuver the gown someplace protected.
“That gown is now not only a gown; it’s a sacred reminiscence of your daughter. You actually need to place it elsewhere, although, as a result of I would not put it previous your husband or his daughter to take it if you aren’t round,” one individual wrote, earlier than urging the lady to inform her husband off for his actions . “I might additionally inform your husband that he must shut the f**ok up and be grateful he’ll get to see his daughter get married and never have solely a gown left to remind him of what ought to have been, that you’d commerce something to have your daughter again, however since you possibly can’t, you’ll maintain on to each reminiscence you’ve.
“I might additionally inform him if he ever goes up in opposition to you about something concerning your daughter’s reminiscence once more, you may be submitting for divorce inside 24 hours afterward.”
One other individual stated: “Your stepdaughter is NOT entitled to your late daughter’s gown. Full cease. You admitted that you simply and your stepdaughter haven’t got a detailed relationship and the very first thing she does is ask you to offer her your late daughter’s gown?! Then she has the audacity to tug the ‘however I am your daughter too’ BS. No is an entire sentence. I might advise shifting the gown out of your private home to someplace protected the place your stepdaughter is not going to have entry. Sorry on your loss.”
Others criticized the “entitlement and insensitivity” of the lady’s stepdaughter, whereas some customers urged that she wished the gown to economize. “It is a memento. She is it as a means to economize,” another person wrote. “If her and her dad are nonetheless complaining about it, please, please put it someplace the place they do not have entry to it. They clearly suppose they’re entitled for her to make use of it and I fear they might take it with out your data.”
Within the feedback, the lady additionally revealed that her husband had defended his daughter’s request on the premise that she is “simply attempting to get near me and bond”.
“However the gown should not be concerned in my relationship with Zoey,” she continued. “I do not know why he refuses to see how unreasonable they’re being. It is exhausting and I can take any extra guilt tripping.”
Along with reassurances, the submit prompted quite a few provides from Reddit customers to retailer the marriage gown for safekeeping.
“I am within the Dallas-Fort Price, Texas space and I might gladly retailer it in my home. I’ve a largely empty closet and my home is effectively protected. OP, please get your daughter’s gown someplace protected,” one individual wrote, whereas one other stated: “Washington state right here. I’ve a particular part of my closet the place I retailer vital objects. It will be an honor.”