A girl has questioned whether or not she was unsuitable to refuse her stepdaughter’s request to put on her late daughter’s marriage ceremony robe after it sparked a family-wide argument.
In a put up shared to Reddit’s AITA [Am I the A**hole] subreddit, the 49-year-old girl, who posted below the username @67099107, revealed that her daughter Lauren handed away from sepsis on the age of 26, the identical month that she was purported to get married.
In keeping with the lady, her daughter’s loss of life was “so sudden” and the household nonetheless does not know “what went unsuitable”. “We had been devastated to say the least,” she stated, including that she saved what would have been her late daughter’s marriage ceremony costume, as they’d bought it collectively and “she put lots of touches on it [and] labored arduous on it”.
“Though it hurts to take a look at it, I make sure that it is protected,” she stated.
Within the put up, the lady who stated she continues to be grieving the lack of her daughter, then defined that she has since gotten married herself not too long ago, to a person who has a daughter named Zoey.
“I met my stepdaughter Zoey two and a half years in the past. I married her father lower than 5 months in the past. It was a small and personal celebration since that is what we felt was the most effective factor to do since I am nonetheless grieving,” the Reddit consumer wrote.
Whereas she has identified her 23-year-old stepdaughter for almost three years now, the lady stated that they’re “not very shut,” partly due to distance. “However we’re very respectful in direction of one another,” she stated.
Nonetheless, based on the lady, a problem not too long ago arose within the household after her stepdaughter, who’s quickly getting married, requested if she may put on what would have been Lauren’s marriage ceremony costume.
“The difficulty began when Zoey visited to speak about her marriage ceremony in April. We had been speaking about marriage ceremony attire and he or she instantly introduced up Lauren’s marriage ceremony costume. I requested her what about it and he or she stated she noticed it a number of occasions and it received caught on her thoughts. Requested if she may see it and I let her,” the put up reads. “She then stated she’d prefer to put on it at her marriage ceremony.”
Along with asking for the costume, Zoey additionally reportedly informed her stepmother that she deliberate to make a couple of adjustments to the robe in order that it might “match her dimension and elegance”.
Within the put up, the lady stated that the request left her feeling “uneasy,” and that she informed her stepdaughter it wasn’t a “good thought”. “I informed her I used to be sorry however I am unable to let her have it,” she wrote, including that her stepdaughter then supplied her cash for the marriage robe, however she declined due to the sentimental worth of the costume.
In keeping with the lady, her refusal to permit her stepdaughter to put on her late daughter’s marriage ceremony costume sparked an argument, as she wrote that the 23 12 months previous stated she was “making issues difficult” and claimed that it might be alright for her to put on the costume as a result of “she too is my daughter”.
“She requested if I do not love her as a lot,” to which the lady reportedly replied that her “love for her is totally different,” at which level the Reddit consumer stated her stepdaughter “threw a match calling me unfair and unreasonable to say sure”.
The girl stated the battle escalated when her husband, her stepdaughter’s father, received concerned, as he additionally stated he could not see why she can be towards giving her daughter’s marriage ceremony costume away.
“I declined to debate it anymore however they saved bringing it up [and] if my daughter would’ve needed asking another person to have the chance to put on this costume since she sadly could not,” the lady continued, including that she finally “lashed out at each of them”.
The Reddit consumer concluded the put up noting that others have informed her she had “no proper” to reply the best way she did or to depart the costume “within the closet when [her] stepdaughter may make good reminiscences with it”.
“However she stated she’s planning on altering his look,” she added.
The put up, which has been upvoted greater than 11,000 occasions, prompted a whole lot of horrified customers to weigh in to guarantee the OP [original poster] that it was comprehensible for her to say no her stepdaughter’s request, whereas others inspired her to maneuver the costume someplace protected.
“That costume is not only a costume; it’s a sacred reminiscence of your daughter. You actually need to place it elsewhere, although, as a result of I would not put it previous your husband or his daughter to take it whenever you aren’t round,” one particular person wrote, earlier than urging the lady to inform her husband off for his actions . “I’d additionally inform your husband that he must shut the f**ok up and be grateful he’ll get to see his daughter get married and never have solely a costume left to remind him of what ought to have been, that you’d commerce something to have your daughter again, however since you’ll be able to’t, you’ll maintain on to each reminiscence you have got.
“I’d additionally inform him if he ever goes up towards you about something relating to your daughter’s reminiscence once more, you’ll be submitting for divorce inside 24 hours afterward.”
One other particular person stated: “Your stepdaughter is NOT entitled to your late daughter’s costume. Full cease. You admitted that you simply and your stepdaughter haven’t got an in depth relationship and the very first thing she does is ask you to provide her your late daughter’s costume?! Then she has the audacity to tug the ‘however I am your daughter too’ BS. No is a whole sentence. I’d advise shifting the costume out of your house to someplace protected the place your stepdaughter won’t have entry. Sorry in your loss.”
Others criticized the “entitlement and insensitivity” of the lady’s stepdaughter, whereas some customers urged that she needed the costume to economize. “It is a memento. She is taking a look at it as a manner to economize,” another person wrote. “If her and her dad are nonetheless complaining about it, please, please put it someplace the place they do not have entry to it. They clearly assume they’re entitled for her to make use of it and I fear they could take it with out your data.”
Within the feedback, the lady additionally revealed that her husband had defended his daughter’s request on the premise that she is “simply attempting to get near me and bond”.
“However the costume should not be concerned in my relationship with Zoey,” she continued. “I do not know why he refuses to see how unreasonable they’re being. It is exhausting and I can take any extra guilt tripping.”
Along with reassurances, the put up prompted quite a few affords from Reddit customers to retailer the marriage costume for safekeeping.
“I am within the Dallas-Fort Price, Texas space and I’d gladly retailer it in my home. I’ve a principally empty closet and my home is properly protected. OP, please get your daughter’s costume someplace protected,” one particular person wrote, whereas one other stated: “Washington state right here. I’ve a particular part of my closet the place I retailer necessary objects. It could be an honor.”