It seems crazy that if things went according to plan in 2020 I would have been married for a year now!
Although my fiance and I wouldn’t have bought our second home last year if things had gone according to plan, I wouldn’t have set up my Instagram page to share ideas with other couples. I’ve learned to appreciate the extra time working from home has given me and I wouldn’t have taken a beginner Spanish course last summer.
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I’m trying to say that I know it is difficult sometimes, but if possible, trying to turn the “negatives” into other things to be thankful for can help give us a different perspective . If people have asked me how to stay as positive as possible about wedding planning and dealing with all the postponements during this pandemic, that is the answer.
Of course it hasn’t always been that easy and other things I would suggest if the planning process / postponements are ruining you are:
- Take a break from wedding planning – It is sometimes necessary to turn off the wedding mode for a while.
- Talk to friends and family – I am grateful to have a great network around us that has so supported us.
- Postponed not canceled – Your day will happen and it will be really amazing when the time comes.
- Celebrate your wedding day – whether it’s a date night (even if it’s virtual), going for a long walk, hanging out with Netflix for the day, or if you really want to try something different to throw a Hawaiian game night on (the possibilities are really endless).
Since I wrote my last (first!) Article, I’ve had a few updates on our wedding plans after the roadmap was announced. Unfortunately we have decided to postpone our Indian ceremony and reception until September this year. We came to the conclusion that if we had carried on into May, we just couldn’t have had the day we envisioned.
While I am disappointed to be postponing this aspect, I am so excited to say that we have decided to continue our civil ceremony with 15 guests in late April. Since the Indian ceremony is not a legal marriage, we had always planned a separate civil wedding (originally with 70 guests) in a registry office in Leicestershire.
After discussing all of our options, the two of us decided as a couple that we didn’t want to push that date back, we just really wanted to get married! It seemed like a compromise we could make in order to be able to hold this intimate ceremony now with (hopefully) a bigger party in September.
This all means that at the moment all civil wedding systems are ready as the countdown is on! I’m sure others can relate to this when I say that over the past year it has been so difficult at times to get excited about wedding planning that the unpredictability of it all really took it away.
By trying to focus on the things that are under my control, I can honestly say that I have this excitement and enthusiasm for our wedding day (which is exactly how it should be).
Yes, you may have to adapt to certain things – I would have loved to have bought my shoes, jewelry, and veil in person, for example. However, we also live in a world where we have so much on hand that buying these items online is so much easier than I expected. You can make Zoom virtual calls to retailers, notify people directly through Instagram / email for advice and pictures, and usually easily return items if they’re not quite right.
We will have our little ceremony at a registry office followed by lunch at a local pub. According to the guidelines we can have lunch outside until the end of April (which really applies to good UK weather)!
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I know the guidelines are constantly being reviewed and updated at this stage (especially for stage 1 and stage 2 weddings as the lockdown is gradually wearing off). So if you are getting married during this time I would really recommend keeping an eye on this and staying in constant touch with your venue and suppliers to see what restrictions / rules are being put in place.
We really wanted an outside area for our lunch where, even though we would have to sit on three 5-seat tables, we could still have an area for those three tables to ourselves and be under some sort of cover when it rained. Check these things out and ask the right questions based on your criteria.
Many suppliers and venues are just as in the dark as we are at the moment as they are also keeping up with changing guidelines, but most are more than happy to try to be as accommodating as possible.
The last thing I wanted to address here was if I was worried the ceremony would feel restrictive due to Covid. Of course we know there will be guidelines, and in a way we are used to them now! I’m not worried about these aspects as I know that ultimately we want to make sure everyone is as comfortable as possible. After almost 12 years of being together, Niraj and I will finally get married in front of our closest people.
I am sure that at this moment we will not be thinking about Covid or anything else. We will be consumed ourselves on the wedding day and enjoy every single moment of it! I hope that this will also give other couples some security in the spring of 2021.
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Ashika is a bride from 2021. Born in Leicester, she now lives in Birmingham with her fiancé. She should have her big Indian wedding in the summer of 2020, which has now been postponed to May 2021. She works full time as a lawyer but is in her element planning her wedding and sharing all things on her Instagram page.